Cella’s Chat: You Are Perfect The Way You Are – There is No Normal!

I was recently asked by someone to attend an NA (Narcotics Anonymous) meeting with them.  As I support their endeavor, I was very glad to attend the meeting.  It became clear to me that I was meant to be there.  I was given a perspective on how people with substance abuse issues feel and it wasn't far from how I myself have felt many times.  As people began to share their struggles with daily life and staying clean, they used the words "I am not normal" and "I wish I could be like "normal" people."  It struck my soul hard that I should have spoken up at the meeting, but I didn't feel it was my place or venue to do so.  If I did speak up, I would have said..."what's normal?"  Each one of us struggles with something.  I may not fight with the addiction of substances, but I fight with the addiction of co-dependency.  That was, and sometimes is, still my drug of choice.  Co-dependency lead my whole life by my "training" others (unknowingly) to treat me as the one who was to fix their problems, right the wrongs and pony up money to help them when they could not help themselves.  The problem with that is because I always fixed everything, they never learned to take care of themselves and the cycle began.  This cycle perpetuated since I was a young girl into my adulthood until I physically, emotionally and mentally broke - my body's way of saying "enough!"  As a co-dependent (or in layman's terms - enabler), there was no way to go but down into the deep abyss of major depression and hopelessness.  The most valuable lesson I can teach to others is to know you ARE perfect.  Truly - we are always trying to fix ourselves to feel loved, valued, and important but how can we ask others to treat us with the respect and love we desire if we do not love ourselves?  Isn't that the first step in turning the cycle around?  In my case, instead of loving myself, I turned to fixing others as a way to be valued and loved.  For many, they turn to substances because they don't like themselves (let alone love themselves) and to "feel" emotions of any kind is too painful so it is easier to numb the feelings.  Once we are able to see this truth, our thoughts change, the way we treat ourselves change and our lives change.  It can be no other way.  Each one of us has the ability to heal our lives if we simply allow ourselves to peak under the shield we have created and love ourselves.  Yes, it takes works but isn't our lives and the lives we affect around us worth it?  In Louise Hay's book You Can Heal Your Life, she expresses that "if we are willing to do the mental work, almost anything in our life can be healed."  Louise explains how limiting beliefs and ideas are often the cause of illness, and how you can change your thinking...and improve the quality of your life! This book was the first book I read that made sense to me and allowed me to start looking at how my thoughts were affecting my life.  Know you are perfect, whole and complete as you are.  So, throw away the idea of "normal" and revel in the fact that you are unique!  I don't know one person who is truly "normal" and if I did, I think they would be boring!

Every thought we think is creating our future.   
- Louise L. Hay

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